This is a very serious problem and should be addressed immediately. I am in the "baby step" stages of training for a 270 mile bike ride from Boston, MA to NYC to raise money for ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). With my amazing sponsors, Montague Folding Bikes, who were kind enough to loan me a bike for the training and for the ride, I'm excited to embark on my first grossly long ride. I ran into a problem the other night when this guy I'm dating (you'll learn more about him later) and I set out on our bikes to see Alice In Wonderland in 3D at Landmark Center. We started out early so that we could ride around a bit, and I was hoping we could get snacks. When we started off down the Charles River bike path, I figured we were just checking out the scenery. It was at about the exit for Government Center that I realized we were neither going to make the movie nor get snacks. And what was I wearing but JEANS and sandals.
Thanks, Trev. I was clearly 20 mile ride ready.
We ended up biking all the way down to the Tobin Bridge, over to the seaport, to South Boston, and back out to Allston where we live. Along the way, we passed about five playgrounds, 20 homeless people, and two groups of people smoking bowls in the park.
About halfway through our ride, Trevor wanted to get a slushy from 7Eleven. I was pissed because we had just ridden through the Commons (it's illegal-don't do it) and he wouldn't let me stop to swing on the playground and then he made me stay outside with the bikes and the homeless people and the creepy drunk guys walking by while he went in to get the slushy. While he was standing in line with a slushy the size of my face, a homeless woman walked by, and I made a new friend:
"What are you looking at? Is that your bike?"
"Yep...well...one of them. The other is...that guy in there's bike.."
"Do you know how to do BAR-ettes?"
"Barrettes, like...hair clips?"
"Yeah-BAR-ettes. That's what I said."
"Oh. Yep..."
(at this point, she started pulling hair clips out of her bag and piling them on the ground...great)
Just then, Trevor came out carrying an enormous Pina Colada slushy. (Too sweet, too sweet!!)
"I need to put my hair up in these BAR-ettes for my werewolf date...I'm already late, and I need to meet my wereworlf-he's waiting for me."
Oh, Lord.
"Okay...." And I proceeded to pin this woman's hair back while about a hundred people passed by wondering what the hell I was doing.
In return for pinning her hair back, this woman gave me her werewolf tank top, tag still on, as a token of her appreciation. I still have it and plan to sport it on my next werewolf date. Don't get jealous, Trev. When's the next full moon? Aaaaooooooo
What's really annoying about that whole situation is that I could take an extra 20 seconds and fold my bike and take it in 7Eleven with me to pick out my own slushy, but I got the lovely job of watching Trevor's old fixy out on the sidewalk and the even more lovely opportunity to meet my new friend, Sabrina. (Of course-why didn't I think of it before-a witch going on a date with a werewolf..it all makes sense now!)
So since Trev's fixy kept me outside, I decided to fold my bike up just to brag. I set it down on the ground next to his bike and pouted.
Oh, and he got a pina colada slushy. Ugh.
The rest of the ride was amazing: from the Common we rode down to the Tobin Bridge (by means of Hanover Street where two very prissy girls were not very happy to see our bikes on the packed streets of the North End at 11 o'clock at night) and over to the Seaport. It was a gorgeous night, but almost every marina was empty because everyone with a boat had taken to the water and left us without much to look at. Regardless, we rode our bikes over the docks all the way from the North End and down, eventually stopping to look out at the water and rest. Having our bikes there was so amazing. It gave us the freedom to ride all over the city without having to obey one-way streets and not being able to get close to the water. It was almost a perfect ride except, of course, for my attire.
Since I did not realize we'd be riding all over the city, I didn't both to put on my spandex and shoes, so I had serious chafing issues for about two days. I walked into work the next morning looking like penguin and grimacing in pain. Since it was so warm the night before and my jeans were rubbing up against me, I was in horrible pain in all the wrong places.
Anyway, thank god for spandex. Team Estrogen offers everything a women needs in her outdoor lifestyle. I wear my spandex shorts around the house, they're so comfortable, and they keep you from chafing when you ride.
Stay tuned for more of Taylor's Excellent (or Not-So-Excellent) Adventures!
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